


Where Bluebirds Fly

by songofthe52hertzwhale



Category: Dalton Academy Series
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2019-11-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:42:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21579352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/songofthe52hertzwhale/pseuds/songofthe52hertzwhale
Summary: "I live in Wonderland," Julian says, "Not OZ."
Relationships: Julian - Relationship
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	Where Bluebirds Fly

**Author's Note:**

> A crack-y fic based on what Julian said when Dolce gifted him a munchkin cat

Something feels overwhelmingly  _ off _ when Julian opens his eyes. His mind swims with unclear memories, with strange sounds and smells he doesn’t quite understand. He has the distinct sense that something awful has happened, that the world isn’t quite what it’s supposed to be. He hesitates to glance around, but his surroundings turn out to be rather familiar.

He’s in his bedroom at Stuart. Safe in his bed, tucked under a thick blanket.

But he  _ shouldn’t _ be, he thinks. This isn’t where he was before. The room is brighter than it should be, cleaner than he remembers leaving it. His clothes aren’t strewn around the floor as they usually are, his desk clear of the usual pile of scripts. There doesn’t seem to be much of anything here, other than the empty furniture and the single blanket covering his bed.

Something is very, very wrong.

He pushes to his feet, and something feels odd  _ there _ , too. He glances down, frowns at the strange outfit he finds himself in.

Julian’s rather confident in the way he looks, but the blue-and-white checkered suit he’s wearing wouldn’t be flattering on  _ anyone _ . It clashes with the bright red shoes on his feet, covered in the tackiest red sequins Julian’s ever seen.

If this is the outfit Van Kamp’s designed for him for the Met Ball, he’s going to go with Givenchy, thank you very much.

The shoes are, however, remarkably comfortable as he moves across the room, and he’s much more concerned with figuring out what the hell is going on than changing his ensemble. He’s not sure he’d find any clothes in the dresser anyway, judging by how barren the rest of the room is.

When he opens the door, it isn’t the halls of Stuart that he finds. No, somehow his door opens to the outside, to an impossibly bright landscape before him. The grass is bright emerald, the sky a clear blue, the clouds fluffy and white. 

The strangest part, though, is the path that begins at his doorway -- it’s a bright, almost offensive shade of yellow, trailing from his room into a large spiral formation before him. He blinks, rubs his eyes, blinks again.

“Um, excuse me,” he calls out, “What the  _ fuck _ ?”

There’s a frenzied rustling from a nearby bush, some hurried whispering, and Raven Woods pokes his head out from behind the leaves. His eyes are narrowed at first, and then recognition dawns as he stands fully upright.

“Guys,” he says, a wide smile on his face, “Don’t worry. It’s just Julian.”

Another, more frantic rustle shakes the bush violently, and four more boys topple out - Sinclair, Corey, Mikey, Clark. They fall in a heap to the ground, a pile of tangled limbs.

“How did the five of you  _ fit _ in there?” Julian asks, “And what on earth is going on?”

“We didn’t know it was you,” Clark explains, rising to his feet and dusting off his jeans, “When the building fell, we all hid.”

“What do you mean, when the building fell?”

“On top of him,” Clark says, a little darkly. The other boys point in unison, and Julian turns around. The door he’s stepped out of leads to his bedroom, still, but the exterior looks different. It looks, strangely, like the school Art Hall. And there, beneath the brick wall, lies something that makes Julian jump backwards in horror.

There’s an arm, outstretched from beneath the wall. Pale, lifeless, with a bright red rose resting on the open palm. 

And suddenly Julian remembers everything. 

He remembers the knife. The explosion. The fire.

Adam.

“You defeated him,” Mikey says, resting one hand gently on Julian’s shoulder, “You won, J.”

“I didn’t,” Julian shakes his head, “I...I grabbed him, when I jumped. I didn’t kill him.”

“He said you  _ defeated _ him,” Sinclair says, “It’s different. You don’t need to kill someone to win. It’d make life pretty messy, don’t you think?”

“I don’t understand what’s happening.”

“Isn’t it obvious, Julian?” Clark asks, an odd sort of smile on his face, “Haven’t you figured it out?”

“Am I dead? Is this some kind of...some fucked-up afterlife? Because I don’t  _ understand _ .”

“You’re not dead. Maybe you should look around a little bit. Explore. I think you’re supposed to figure all of this out yourself. It’s cheating if we just  _ tell _ you.”

“What’s the point of having you here, if you can’t even help me?” Julian grumbles, but he turns away from the building regardless. He’s still standing on the gaudy yellow brick, and he frowns at it, looks at his surroundings.

There’s a town around him, old-fashioned and brightly-colored. It’s like a rainbow has stained his surroundings, painted every surface. There’s a row of houses on one side, all a little too small, as if made for children. He does a double-take at the row of trees on the other side; rather than bearing fruit, they seem to be covered in various types of candy.

There’s honest-to-god  _ lollipops _ sprouting out of the ground, a trickling fountain in the center of the town square that seems to contain chocolate rather than water. It’s the sort of thing Julian might have imagined as a child, a whole world of sweets and sugar. 

It looks like he’s stepped into some kind of gingerbread village, some form of wonderland, some kind of…

He turns, and all five Haven boys hide grins at Julian’s accusatory look.

“Are you really telling me I’m in some kind of fucked-up Wizard of Oz story? And, what,  _ you’re _ supposed to be the munchkins?”

Corey clears his throat, “Well, you see, a town of munchkins isn’t really...politically correct, nowadays. Besides, this place is pretty fitting for all of us, isn’t it?”

“There’s a tree that grows  _ pizza _ !” Raven says, his eyes shining.

“This just doesn’t make any goddamn sense,” Julian says, all but stomping his foot, “I don’t know what kind of insane fever dream this is, and I don’t know  _ why _ my brain would decide to make you all  _ munchkins _ , when someone like, I don’t know, Van Kamp would be more fitting.”

There’s a rather disgruntled sound behind him, the affronted voice of the boy he’s just mentioned, “I’m only  _ barely _ below average height, for your information. It’s not my fault everyone at school is so tall.”

Julian turns. Reed’s staring openly at his outfit, a thinly-veiled look of disgust on his face.

“There’s a reason that pattern went out of fashion, you know,” he says, reaching forward to prod at Julian’s tie, “And this material is absolutely gauce.”

“I didn’t exactly choose it.”

“I would hope not. If I’m making you the face of my fall line I expect you to have  _ some _ taste.”

Julian rolls his eyes, “Are you just here to criticize my fashion sense?”

“No,” Reed shakes his head, pulls his hand away, “I came to fetch you. He wants to see you.”

“ _ Who _ wants to see me?”

“The good witch, of course.”

Julian can’t help but laugh, “Right. Sure. Glinda, right? Obnoxiously chipper, hideous pink dress?”

“Just follow me.”

Reed turns, shoes clicking against the yellow brick beneath him. Julian mutters under his breath as he follows, annoyed at the sharpness of the order and the winding path they take through the town. It doesn’t make any goddamn sense to stay on this road, not when it spirals all over the place instead of cutting a straight line.

They walk up to a small garden, rows of beautiful multi-colored flowers with a low bench centered between them. There’s a figure on the bench, clad in voluminous pink tulle that shimmers with every movement.

Julian freezes.

“You have  _ got _ to be kidding me.”

Kurt Hummel looks up -- a remarkable feat, really, with the heavy silvery crown resting on top of his head.

“No,” Julian says, shaking his head, “This is bullshit. This is  _ my _ goddamn dream, why the hell are you here?”

“Well,” Kurt says, looking annoyed, “Someone had to wear this, didn’t they?”

“You do look ridiculous. I’m particularly fond of that...wand, is it?”

“Not much better than your gingham, Larson.”

Julian tilts his head to the side, “So you’re the main character even in  _ my _ dream, then? I suppose you’re the one who’s going to tell me why I’m here, then? Give me a quest to complete, or something?”

“Of course not.”

“Aren’t you Glinda? The  _ good witch _ , or whatever?”

“Why would you listen to anything I tell you? We aren’t exactly friends.”

Julian makes a sound of frustration, “So why am I  _ here _ , then?” 

“Only you can answer that.”

“I don’t  _ know _ , that’s the whole point!”

“You’ve seen this movie, haven’t you?”

“Yes,” Julian says, impatient, “And Glinda tells Dorothy to follow the yellow brick road if she ever wants to go home.”

“Then you don’t really need me to tell you anything, do you?”

Julian scowls, “So what’s the point of you even being here?”

Kurt shrugs, “Honestly? I’m pretty sure your subconscious just thought it would be hilarious to put me in this getup. It  _ is _ your dream, after all.”

Julian can’t really argue with that. He does feel a sick sort of satisfaction seeing the boy looking so ridiculous, with the poofy sleeves and the too-large skirts. It’s rather absurd, and Julian shoots him a smug smirk as he turns away.

_ Follow the yellow brick road. _

He can manage that, he supposes. Kurt and Reed stay behind, but the Haven boys follow along, and Julian quells their attempts at singing with one stern glance.

“And I’m not  _ skipping _ , either,” Julian warns, “Just because I’m trapped in this bizarre movie script doesn’t mean I’m playing along.”

“Some actor you are,” Raven grumbles, but Julian ignores him.

It’s irritating, walking in circles through the town as the road spirals outward. He wants to just take the smart path, but each time he veers off the road one of the boys pulls him back. Thankfully, it gets a little less nonsensical as he follows it outside of town, and he feels just a little bit sad when the Haven boys stop at the edge of the forest.

“We can’t follow you any further,” Clark says, forlorn, “Be careful out there, Julian. Watch out for the Wicked Witch, alright?”

“And who is  _ that _ exactly? If Adam’s already dead and Hummel’s the good witch…”

“Just be careful. Please. And don’t forget this.”

Clark reaches into the deep pockets of his coat and pulls out something small and prickly.

“Oh my god, Sonic’s here?” Julian pulls his pet into his arms, and the hedgehog curls into a ball in his hands, “He must be terrified.”

“He’s all the company you’ll have for a while, I think,” Mikey says, “Be safe.”

“I’ll be fine,” Julian tells them all, “It’s all just a dream after all, isn’t it?”

The only problem with dreams, Julian decides as he wanders, is that time doesn’t quite work the right way. He feels as if he’s been walking for days, and he hasn’t seen a thing other than trees and rolling hills. It’s exhausting, and infuriating, and he wishes he could just wake up.

“Excuse me,” a voice says, startling him, “But do you think you might be able to help me down?”

Julian turns, eyes wide as he takes in his surroundings. There’s nothing around him, nothing but corn and wheat and this godforsaken yellow brick road.

“Who said that?”

“I did.”

Julian spins around once more, but the only thing he sees is a scarecrow, hung on a wooden stake in a nearby field.

Of course.

He steps closer, eyeing the scarecrow. At first glance, it appears to be just that. But then its eyes shift, locking onto Julian’s, and he freezes.

“...Logan? Is that you?”

The scarecrow’s head tilts to one side, “I think so. Yes, that sounds right. I can’t be sure, though. I haven’t got a brain, you see.”

“Not that different than real life, then,” Julian mutters, before raising his voice once more, “Does that hurt? Being up there?”

“Dreadfully. You wouldn’t mind helping me down, would you?”

Julian moves forward, steps around Logan and examines the knots holding him still. They’re fairly lose, and Logan’s remarkably light as Julian helps him off the post. Logan stumbles, as he touches the ground, and Julian instinctively wraps an arm around him to hold him steady.

“Do...do you remember anything?” Julian asks, “About before?”

Logan shakes his head, “All I know is how sore my arms are. Oh, and that you’ve lost something.”

He crouches down, and when he rises, there’s something small squirming in his hand.

“Oh my god,” Julian breathes, reaching, “ _ Sonic _ . He must’ve fallen out of my pocket, oh you poor thing.”

The hedgehog curls up in his hands, and Julian holds him close to his chest.

“He’s probably tired,” Logan says, stating the obvious.

“You don’t have a bag or anything, do you? This stupid suit has such shallow pockets.”

Logan frowns down at himself, “No, I don’t think so. I have a hat, would that work?”

He pulls the thing off his head. It’s straw, but surprisingly soft and malleable, and Sonic looks rather pleased when Julian sets him inside. There’s a cord tied to it, just long enough that Julian can carry it in the crook of his elbow. It’s an odd sort of makeshift basket, but it works.

“Well, thank you,” Julian says, feeling a little awkward. He knows this Logan doesn’t remember him, is just a figment of his imagination, but he can’t help but feel tense, “Um. I suppose I’ll just leave you to...whatever you were doing.”

He takes a step away, but Logan’s hand lands heavy on his arm. 

“Could I come with you, do you think?” He asks, looking so earnest, “I’m not quite sure where I am, you see. Or  _ who _ I am, even. I could keep you company.”

“I don’t think this is going to be very much fun,” Julian tells him, “There’s a wicked witch in this story, you know.”

“Oh, the witch can’t be that bad,” Logan says, “Besides, I can keep you safe!”

“I don’t need you to protect me. This is all just a dream, anyway.”

“But I  _ want _ to,” Logan insists, “I…”

He breaks off, frowning.

“You what?”

“...it’s important, I think,” Logan says, “I don’t know how, or why. But I have to stay with you. It’s important.”

Julian blinks. Well. At least his subconscious is giving him  _ this _ .

“Fine, you can come.”

Logan grins, falling into step beside Julian as they make their way down the road.

“So,” he says, after a moment, “How do you know this is a dream?”

“Because this is all in a movie I’ve seen before. Everything’s  _ wrong _ , but maybe I’m just forgetting what’s supposed to happen.”

“Was I in the movie?”

“Kind of,” Julian hesitates, “You...I know you in real life. We’re...friends. The whole scarecrow thing is just a character in the movie. But I know you.”

“Do I have a brain, in real life?” Logan asks, “I feel like I’m supposed to.”

“Debatable,” Julian jokes, but Logan doesn’t laugh, “You...yeah. You’re one of the smartest people I know.”

Logan grins, wide and toothy. It’s odd, seeing him like this. He seems carefree. Happy.

“You’re different, though. Moody. A little bit mean, sometimes.”

“But I’m not mean to you, right? You said we’re friends.”

“Well, yes, but…” Julian sighs. He supposes it doesn’t matter if he’s truthful here. It’s not like any of this is real, “Sometimes I’m not really sure if you like me all that much.”

“Why wouldn’t I like you?”

“Maybe it’s not that you don’t like me,” Julian says, “Maybe it’s just...you like other people more. I’m not as important.”

“That’s ridiculous. You’re the best person I’ve ever met.”

“How many people  _ have _ you met?”

Logan thinks for a second, “Well...I can’t remember, exactly. But I think you might be the first.”

Julian snorts, “Well thank you. I’m glad to hear I’m the best and  _ only _ person you’ve ever met.”

“You could just tell me, you know. That I’m being mean.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“Because then you’d know I care.”

Julian keeps walking, but Logan doesn’t. He stops mid-stride, and it takes Julian a few steps to realize that Logan’s no longer at his side. He falters, head turning over his shoulder to look back.

“What?”

“I don’t understand,” Logan says, his brow furrowed, “Why don’t you want me to know you care?”

“It’s complicated.”

“It sounds stupid.”

“No offense, but you don’t have a brain. I wouldn’t expect you to understand.”

“Do  _ you _ understand?”

Julian rolls his eyes, “Could we not with the deep conversations, please? I’d really just like to find the end of this road, if you don’t mind.”

“I just don’t understand,” Logan presses, “You said we’re friends, but you don’t think I care? You don’t want me to know that  _ you _ care?”

“I told you, it’s complicated.”

“I think I probably care.”

“I know you  _ care _ ,” Julian sighs, runs a hand through his hair, “Just...not the way I want you to.”

“How’s that?”

“I like you. A lot. More than I should, really. And you don’t feel the same way.”

“I said that?”

“You didn’t have to.”

“Well if I didn’t  _ say _ it how do you know that it’s true?”

“I just  _ do _ , okay?”

He’s getting frustrated. Julian sighs, squeezes his eyes shut for a moment and looks back to Logan. This not-Logan, this strange and almost childlike version that doesn’t have any of Logan’s real memories, who doesn’t know their history.

“You’re mad at me,” Logan says, a small pout on his lips, “I don’t want you to be mad at me.”

“I’m not mad at you.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“I know you didn’t.”

“I just...need help understanding, sometimes. I don’t always get things by myself. I need you to tell me.”

Part of Julian wants to. He knows it won’t mean anything, that this version of Logan is all just part of his subconscious. But he wonders if it would change anything, if he talked about how he felt. If he told Logan all the messy, awful truth.

But he doesn’t have time for that.

“Can we just keep going? I really want to get to the end of this road.”

Logan nods, coming to stand at Julian’s side again.

“Okay. Let’s go.”

Julian moves to takes another step, but freezes at the sound of distant laughter. It sounds familiar, but something about it makes his blood chill. Logan moves closer, clinging to Julian’s arm once more. The wind picks up around them, cold and harsh, and Julian gasps.

“ _ Run _ .”

Their hands link together, and Julian moves quickly. He can feel Logan rushing along at his side, hurrying as the wind picks up, as the laughter grows nearer. 

“It’s the witch,” he says, pulling Logan along, “We have to hide!”

“There!” Logan shouts, pointing. They dive into a shallow ditch just off the road, half-covered with large shrubs and shaded by dense trees. Julian manages to shield Sonic as they throw themselves to the ground, feels just a little surprised when Logan’s body lands mostly on top of his. 

“Stay quiet,” Logan whispers, “Don’t make a sound.”

“ _ You’re _ the one talking.”

“Shh!”

The wind is deafening now, and Julian shivers as the air grows frigid. Logan’s body presses more firmly against his, and he can feel Sonic squirming around in his arms. The laughter grows louder, harsher, and then begins to fade away. The wind follows shortly after, the howl growing softer.

Still, neither of them move. Logan remains firmly where he is, his arms braced on either side of Julian. They stay like that, quiet, completely still until the world is silent once more.

“The coast is clear, you know,” a strange voice calls, and Julian looks up.

“It could be a trick,” Logan whispers, but he doesn’t stop Julian as he pushes to his knees.

“Who said that?” Julian calls, “Who’s there?”

“Me, obviously,” the voice says, sounding a little annoyed, “And I could really use some help.”

Julian rises to his feet, taking a moment to check on Sonic. He’s shaking a little, still, but calms a bit when Julian lays a hand on his back. He steadies the makeshift basket on his arm, looking towards the sound of the voice.

“Of course,” he says, understanding dawning, “I found the Scarecrow. Now it’s time for the Tin Man.”

“Clearly not actually  _ tin _ ,” the man says, “Since I seem to have rusted into place. Honestly, do writers not do any research? Tin doesn’t  _ rust _ .”

Julian steps closer, frowning. Something about the man seems so familiar, even with the metallic sheen across his skin.

“...Derek?”

Logan frowns beside him, looking concerned, “You know him, Julian?”

“We both do,” Julian says, “He’s our friend.”

“And your  _ friend _ could really use some assistance,” Derek says, nothing but his lips moving, “If you could please help with this, that’d be great.”

There’s an oil can nearby, sitting neatly on a wide tree stump.

“This is all a little too convenient,” Julian mutters, but he brings the thing over regardless. Derek’s arms fall to his side as Julian pours oil on his joints, and he groans a little once he’s regained full range of motion.

“Finally,” Derek sighs, “God, you have no idea how painful that was.”

“So you’re heartless, then,” Julian says, “I suppose these roles are fitting. The heartless heartbreaker.”

“I have a heart,” Derek says, looking a little offended, “I’ve just...misplaced it, is all.”

“Misplaced it. Sure. Did that excuse work on Casey?”

“Hey, fuck you man.”

Logan clears his throat, a little too loudly, “Julian. We really should be going, shouldn’t we?”

Derek looks over, as if he hasn’t yet realized Logan’s there too, “Oh. Hey, Lo.”

“...hi? Who are you, exactly?”

Julian frowns, “Wait, how do  _ you _ remember who you are but Logan doesn’t?”

“Well that’s his whole shtick, isn’t it? No brain? It’s no wonder he doesn’t remember,” Derek looks at Julian knowingly, “Or maybe it’s because you don’t  _ want _ him to remember.”

“Right,” Julian clears his throat loudly, “Let’s just continue on, hm? All of us.”

“And where, exactly, are we going?”

“Down the Yellow Brick Road,” Julian says matter-of-factly, “To the Emerald City, or whatever.”

“Oh, come on,” Derek says, even as he trots after him, “You don’t seriously think you can get through the quest just by reaching the end of the road, do you?”

“That’s exactly what I think.”

“Please, Julian. You’re smarter than that. These kinds of things are never just about getting somewhere. You have to  _ learn _ something. There’s always like...a deeper meaning to it.”

“How would you know?”

“Think about it, Jules. Every movie you’ve seen. Every book you’ve read. That’s always how it goes, isn’t it?”

“This isn’t a movie,” Julian says, “Or a book, or a videogame, or any of that shit. This is  _ my _ stupid-ass dream, and I think I know how this is supposed to go.”

“We  _ are _ you, Julian. If this is all just your dream, that means we’re all your subconscious. Which means anything either of us say is something that you’re also thinking.”

“There really wasn’t a smart-ass character anywhere in  _ Wizard of Oz _ ?” Julian asks, “Because that would have been a hell of a lot more fitting for you.” 

“Goddamnit, Julian, use your  _ head _ !”

“Hey!” Logan pipes up suddenly, looking a little angry, “Stop yelling at him. He’s doing his best.”

Derek stares, looking a little stunned. He laughs, turns back to Julian with an incredulous look.

“This isn’t really what you think  _ he’d _ be like, is it? You seriously think he’d be defending you right now? What kind of fantasy are you inventing here?”

“I don’t  _ know _ !” Julian exclaims. He’s so frustrated, so upset, and he tries desperately to ignore the hot prickling of tears in the corners of his eyes, “I didn’t want  _ any _ of this! I don’t know why everything is like this! I just want to go  _ home _ .”

“Then figure out why you’re  _ here _ !”

“I said stop  _ yelling _ at him!”

Logan steps forward, his hands coming up to shove at Derek’s chest. Derek looks affronted, stepping forward with his fists raised.

“Guys,  _ please _ !” Julian pleads, moving between them, “Can we  _ please _ stop fighting? I just want to go home.”

“And what happens to us?” Logan asks, “Do we go home too?”

“No, you idiot,” Derek says, “We go away. Forever. We aren’t  _ real _ .”

“But I feel real.”

“Well you aren’t. He’s going to go home, and he’s going to wake up to the  _ real _ you, the you that doesn’t give two shits, and he’s going to be just as miserable as always.”

“I give a shit.”

“Because he  _ wants _ you too.”

“Derek!”

“Or because I just  _ care _ ! I  _ like  _ him, is that so hard to believe?”

“Both of you,  _ shut up _ !” Julian shouts, loud enough to take them both by surprise. They take a step away from each other, looking a little sheepish, “Are you going to help me get out of here or not?”

“...yes.”

“Of course.”

“Good.”

Julian marches on, ignoring Derek’s question of  _ we don’t have to skip, do we _ ? The ruby shoes are loud against the pavement, so much more prominent than the quiet shuffle of Logan’s cloth shoes. Derek’s movements are almost comically loud, however, a raucous sound of clanging metal with every step. Julian would almost find it amusing, if he weren’t so irritated by this whole situation.

_ Follow the Yellow Brick Road _

_ Follow the Yellow Brick Road _

_ Follow, follow, follow, follow… _

His eyes narrow, and he turns, regarding Logan with suspicion.

“What are you doing?”

“Hm?”

“You’re humming.”

“Oh, was I?” Logan frowns, tilting his head, “Sorry, I didn’t really realize.”

“You’re humming the song in the movie.”

“What movie?”

“ _ This _ movie.”

Logan looks confused, “I thought this was a dream?”

Julian rolls his eyes, “It is. A dream  _ based _ on a movie.”

“...I’m confused.”

Derek snorts, “Well that’s nothing new.”

Logan wheels around, opens his mouth to say something…

...and promptly gets interrupted by the sound of a throat clearing. They all freeze, and two pairs of hands reach out to grip Julian’s arms. He shakes the boys off, searching for the source of the sound.

It isn’t hard to find. There’s someone leaning against a nearby fence, dressed in what almost looks like a child’s onesie pajama set. It’s baggy, and looks soft, and there’s an absurd mane of hair lining the attached hood.

“Hang on a second... _ Sebastian _ ?” Julian can’t help but grin, “ _ You’re _ the Cowardly Lion?”

Sebastian folds his arms across his chest, scowling, “Apparently, and I’m not exactly happy about it.”

“This is  _ fantastic _ ,” Julian continues, giddy, “Oh my god, real you would be so pissed about this.”

“ _ Me _ me is also pissed,” Sebastian says, “Like, seriously? Your subconscious couldn’t come up with anyone more fitting? You don’t have a single friend that fits this a little better?”

“I don’t know, you  _ did _ get kind of jumpy at that one horror movie...”

“Fuck you.”

Sebastian pushes away from the fence, and the long tail of his costume trails along the ground as he walks over to join them. He peers curiously at Derek, then turns to Logan and snorts.

“See, like  _ this _ ,” he says, gesturing, “ _ This _ one makes sense. Me, not so much.”

“Right, well this is the whole team now,” Julian says, “Can we please keep going?”

He just wants to get this over with. He knows how this story goes - he meets up with three friends, they find the Emerald City, and the Wizard helps him get home.

At least, he thinks so.

Admittedly, it’s been a while since he’s seen the movie.

“Going where?” Sebastian asks, his voice sickly sweet, “I wouldn’t mind coming along.”

“I think we’re fine on our own, thank you,” Logan says, looking irritated.

“He has to come,” Julian says, “It’s part of the movie.”

“You already said this is all different. We don’t need him. I’m perfectly capable of keeping you safe.”

Sebastian tilts his head, “Well if that were true, he wouldn’t be  _ here _ , would he?”

Logan’s hands clench into fists, and Julian sighs as he steps between the two. This whole thing is already ridiculous enough, and he’s already had to break up a fight between Derek and Logan. He doesn’t need  _ this _ weird rivalry, too.

“The sooner we get to the end of this little adventure, the sooner I get to  _ wake up _ ,” he says, “Let’s just go, alright? All of us.”

Logan and Sebastian shoot each other scathing looks, but they both follow along as Julian continues his walk. It’s a little ridiculous, being accompanied by these strange versions of two boys he’s loved. He’s not quite sure how Derek fits into all of this.

He thinks of something ridiculous, suddenly, and all three boys turn to him when he laughs.

“Sorry,” he says, waving it off, “I just remembered -- I dated a boy named  _ Oz _ , once. I wonder if that’s going to come into play here.”

“You dated a boy?” Logan asks, looking intrigued.

“More than one,” Sebastian says with noted smugness, “Maybe you would’ve caught on, if you had a brain.”

“How do you remember me, anyway?” Julian asks, turning to him, “Logan doesn’t remember anything before he met me, so how come you and Derek do?

Sebastian shrugs, “Maybe you didn’t want him to. You told him, didn’t you?”

Julian falters, “How do you know that?”

“This is  _ your _ dream. I know it because you know it.”

“Why wouldn’t you want me to remember?” Logan asks, “What did you tell me?”

“He didn’t feel the same, did he?” Sebastian presses, ignoring Logan’s interruption, “Even when he knew, he didn’t.”

“I don’t want to talk about this.”

“I guess he really is brainless.”

Logan makes a noise of frustration, “Would you  _ please _ stop talking about me like I’m not here?”

“Just don’t worry about it, Logan. None of this is real, anyway. When I wake up you’re just going to vanish, or something. Just like Derek said.”

“But we won’t,” Sebastian says, “Not really. We’ll still be there. We won’t remember this, but we’ll still be there.”

It’s annoyingly cryptic, and Julian doesn’t really feel like deciphering it right now. This is all starting to get a little too personal, a little too close for comfort. He falls silent as they walk. Logan and Sebastian take to sniping at each other, instead, and Julian does his best to tune out the bickering.

“Do you think I _ should _ sing?” He asks, and his companions banter falls away.

“Like what I was humming?” Logan asks.

“Like the movie,” Julian says, “ _ Somewhere Over the Rainbow _ ? How much of this do I actually have to mimic for all of this to work?”

“We’re already pretty far off-track,” Sebastian says, “I’m pretty sure Dorothy never screwed the Lion.”

“You did  _ what _ ?” Logan bursts out, one arm darting out to hold Sebastian away, “Julian, is that true?”

“Guys!” Derek shouts, voice lifting above the rest, “For god’s sake, could you please stop shouting at each other and pay an ounce of attention to what’s right in front of us?!”

They turn in unison, and Julian takes the opportunity to rub the tears of frustration from his eyes. He feels a hand settle comfortingly on his shoulder, but he doesn’t look to see who it is.

“Huh,” Sebastian says, “At least the Emerald City is still...very, very emerald.”

Julian doesn’t quite remember what this looked like in the movie. But the Emerald City of his own imagining appears to be a massive castle, with turrets and parapets and high towers rising into the clouds. The whole thing shimmers a beautiful shade of green, and Julian shivers when he realizes where he’s seen this color before.

“It’s not that far,” Logan says, helpfully, “And look, a shortcut!”

Logan veers off the road, stepping into the field stretching out in every direction around the city. Bright red roses crumple beneath his feet, and Julian suddenly feels violently ill.

“Wait,” he says, weakly, not quite loud enough.

Logan continues, and Sebastian and Derek step off the road after him. Julian can hear the crunching of flowers beneath their feet, and the blooms seem to be leaking a foul, thick red liquid as the three of them move. The smell is coppery, sour, and Julian’s breath hitches.

“Wait,” he tries again, “Wait,  _ please _ . This is wrong. This is all…”

His stomach churns, and Julian falls to his knees as his insides suddenly decide to not be  _ inside _ anymore. His skin feels cold, clammy, and the acrid taste of sick lingers in his mouth. Something awful is about to happen, he knows, and he can’t stop it.

Why can’t he stop it?

“It’s not your fault,” a quiet voice says, from nearby, “It’s just the way it goes, you see.”

Julian lifts his chin. He can feel tears streaming down his face, and Kurt’s image is blurry before him. He glances out to the field, watches as his friends slow in their movements, as they drop down to the ground.

“They’re in trouble.”

“Yes. They are.”

“I can’t save them, can I?”

Kurt hums, but doesn’t quite answer. He reaches into the folds of the frilly pink lace, pulls out a delicate silk handkerchief and hands it over. Julian wipes at his eyes first, then his mouth, and struggles to control his breathing.

“It isn’t permanent, if it’s any consolation,” Kurt says, “They’re only sleeping.”

Julian finally manages to turn back to the field. They  _ do _ appear to be asleep, he thinks. All three of them are lying on the soft grass, their heads pillowed on the roses beneath them. There’s a figure leaning over Logan, one hand brushing up against his skin. Julian can’t see who it is -- they’re dressed all in black, their body swathed in flowing robes.

“It can’t be,” Julian says, “No...Clark said I defeated him.”

Kurt makes a soft sound, something like a high-pitched clearing of his throat. He straightens, turning to the hooded figure.

“I think it’s time you show yourself, don’t you?”

The figure rises to its feet, slowly, turning around. It stands perfectly still for several moments, and then one hand lifts, pushing the hood from its face.

Julian’s heart stops.

The man before him is unmistakable. Julian knows him better than he knows anyone. He sees him every time he looks into a mirror.

He looks different, standing there. Thinner. Tired. The dark circles beneath his eyes are deep, his cheekbones a little too prominent.

“ _ No _ ,” he says, as his other self steps forward, “No.”

“Who else would it be?” Kurt asks, so matter-of-factly.

“No,” Julian repeats, a little louder, “This is...this can’t be right.”

“But it is.”

“Are you fucking  _ kidding  _ me?!” Julian exclaims, gesturing wildly, “All of this bullshit...this is  _ my fantasy _ , and I’m still the bad guy? I’m the villain, and you’re the perfect little princess.”

Kurt shoots him a scathing look, made decidedly less vitriolic by the absurd glittery crown on his head, “Come on, Larson, haven’t you ever seen  _ Wicked _ ?”

“Is that what this is supposed to be? I’m Elphaba?”

“I don’t know. Like you said, it’s  _ your _ fantasy.”

“And I still somehow lose to you.”

“Have you really lost?”

“That’s how the movie ends. The wicked witch  _ dies _ .”

“Well,” Kurt says, “Haven’t you already deduced this isn’t exactly following the script?”

“That’s not...I’m the fucking  _ villain _ ,” Julian says, staring at the other version of himself, “This isn’t fucking  _ fair. _ Look, I know I can be an asshole but I’m not...I’m not  _ evil _ . I’m not a villain.”

“Maybe that isn’t what this is.”

“Then what is it?”

“Maybe,” Kurt says, lifting one eyebrow, “It’s just that your subconscious realizes that the biggest hindrance to your happiness...is  _ you _ .”

“That sounds like a load of bullshit.”

“Like I said. It’s your fantasy,” Kurt shrugs, “Though if this is at all  _ Wicked _ inspired...I’d like to point out that Elphaba is the one Fiyero fell in love with, in the end.”

“There isn’t even a Fiyero in this world.”

“Isn’t there?” Kurt’s eyes leave Julian’s face, and he glances over at Logan’s sleeping figure, looking so peaceful in the field of roses. Julian follows his gaze, feels the too-familiar pull in his chest as he stares at the boy.

_ God, he loves him. _

“I’ll take care of them,” Kurt says quietly, “I promise. But you do have to go right now. That’s how this goes.”

Julian tears his eyes away, “I thought we weren’t following a script?”

But then the other version of him is grabbing Julian’s wrist, and he’s suddenly so, so tired…

When he wakes up, it’s in an unfamiliar room. Everything around him is a dark, muted gray, even the quilt spread across the bed he’s laying on. The other version of him is there, too, still clad in the dark robes. He’s fiddling with something in the corner, and the pleasant smell of coffee permeates the air.

Julian sits up, eyes fixed on...well, on himself. As he watches, the other Julian turns, a mug of coffee held in his outstretched hands. He hands it over, and Julian takes it, warily. It smells like coffee. It looks like coffee. There’s just the right amount of creamer, a dollop of whipped cream in the center.

He takes a tentative sip. 

It’s good.

Well, at least he’s not being poisoned here.

The other him sits down, eyes fixed on Julian’s face.

“...you know this is very confusing for me, right?”

The other Julian smiles, “You can call me something else, if it helps. Witch. Elphie.”

“Why am I here?”

“To talk, mostly.”

“About?”

“You know what’s happening, don’t you?”

“Yes,” Julian says, “I’m living out some weird, acid trip-y Wizard of Oz fantasy.”

“I meant up there. In the real world.”

Julian quiets. He takes another deep sip of coffee, “I got hurt, didn’t I?”

“Yes.”

“Is it bad?”

“You haven’t woken up, Julian.  _ We _ haven’t woken up.”

“...how long has it been?”

“A little too long.”

“So I’m dead, then.”

“Not yet.”

Julian feels cold despite the warm drink in his hands.

“What does that mean?”

“Well,” witch-Julian stands, straightening out his robes, “You have an element of choice in the matter, you see.”

“I get to choose if I  _ die _ ?”

“Not quite, I suppose. It’s more that you get to choose what happens after.”

Julian sets his mug down, frowning, “And I’m guessing you have an idea of what I should choose?”

“I am the bad guy in this scenario, after all.”

“The Wicked Witch,” Julian says, unable to keep from rolling his eyes.

“Good witch. Bad bitch. It’s all just a matter of perspective, isn’t it?”

“And what’s your perspective?”

“Go home.”

“Are you…” Julian pulls at his hair, groans, “Are you kidding me? You pulled me away just to tell me  _ that _ ? I’ve been trying to go home this whole time!”

“Which home have you been looking for, exactly?”

“... _ home _ , home. The home that isn’t cartoony and too bright, and where my friends aren’t a lion, or a scarecrow, or a tin man.”

“Ohio or California?”

That gives Julian pause. He blinks, staring up at himself.

“I...I don’t know,” he admits, “I hadn’t really thought about it.”

The witch stands right before him, eyes intense, “You know there’s only one right answer, right?”

“I’ve spent the last few years switching between the two. I think I’ve managed well enough.”

“Have you?” The witch steps closer, and Julian draws back, “You’re not happy, Julian. You haven’t been happy in a long time.”

“I mean, it’s been rough lately, but I don’t think -- “

“He’s never going to love you.”

Julian’s mouth snaps shut.

“You know that. I know you know that. He doesn’t love you. You’re not good enough. He never has loved you. He never will.”

“I  _ know _ ,” Julian says weakly, “I never expected him to.”

“He doesn’t even  _ like _ you, does he?” the witch continues, “He barely pays any attention to you. He didn’t even notice when you were upset. When you were being  _ stalked _ .”

“He did. He noticed, it was  _ me _ …”

“You’ve never been his priority. Not even once.”

Julian pulls away, brings his hands up to tug at his hair, “No. Shut up. Please just shut up.”

“I’m right, Julian. You know I’m right.”

“ _ He reached for me first _ !”

The witch goes silent. Julian’s panting, his fingers tangled in his hair. There’s so many emotions bubbling up inside of him, so many feelings he doesn’t know what to do with. 

“He reached for me  _ first _ ,” he says again, “After the explosion, when everything was falling apart...he reached for me. He  _ cares _ . Yeah, maybe you’re right. Maybe he’ll never love me. Not like I love him. But he…” Julian breaks off, takes a shaky breath as tears stream down his cheeks, “Logan  _ cares _ , okay? I know he does.”

“Of course I care.”

Julian looks up. The other him isn’t there anymore. It’s just Logan, standing in the doorway, looking at Julian with the saddest eyes he’s ever seen.

“How could you ever think I don’t care?” Logan asks, “I’ve followed you all this way. I came here just to rescue you. Of course I care.”

“I meant the real you,” Julian says, his voice shaky, “Not the you in my head. The real one.”

“I think that me cares, too. I know it.”

“You can’t know that. You don’t even remember.”

Logan steps forward, “Something awful happened, didn’t it?”

Julian nods.

“You got hurt, didn’t you?”

“Yes.”

“But it’s not just that,” Logan takes another step, “I haven’t been great to you, have I?”

“It’s not your fault. I  _ lie _ , Logan. I lie, and I hide things, and I don’t...I never wanted you to know how I feel.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m  _ scared _ ,” Julian admits, “Because I’m fucking terrified that it’s going to ruin things. That you’ll look at me different. And I can’t...you mean too goddamn much to me, Lo. I can’t lose you.”

The tears come again, faster this time. He can’t stop them, brings his hands up to cover his eyes instead. He can feel Logan moving closer, feel the slight hesitation before Logan’s arms wind around him, pulling him close. He’s warm, and soft, and Julian can almost forget that this version of Logan is made out of goddamn  _ straw _ .

“You won’t lose me,” Logan says softly, “I promise, okay? I might not have a brain, but I know that you’re important. I know you won’t lose me.”

“You can’t promise that.”

“I’m not.  _ You _ are.”

Julian takes a step backward, but Logan’s hands stay on his shoulders.

“You’re dreaming all this, remember?” Logan continues, “The reason I know all this is because  _ you _ know all this. You said it yourself. You know I care. You just needed to realize it.”

Julian sniffs, rubbing at his eyes, “So that’s all this was. All this was just to make me realize you don’t hate me.”

“Well,” Sebastian steps through the doorway next, and Logan lowers his arms to let Julian turn to him, “He’s not the only one here.”

He smiles, and Julian stares.

“Let me guess. You’re here to help me realize that even if Logan  _ doesn’t _ love me back, I’m still capable of love.”

Sebastian blinks, looking a little impressed, “Yeah. I guess that just about sums it up.”

“It’s that simple?”

“Hasn’t your problem with relationships always been that you compared them to him? Did you ever do that with me?”

“...no. I didn’t.”

“I know I hurt you. I’m so,  _ so _ sorry for that. But I care, too. Both of us care about you, Julian.”

“So that’s you’re lesson, then?”

“Well I’m the Cowardly Lion, right?” Sebastian smiles, not a trace of humor in his voice, “I was too scared to give you what you deserve. I was a coward. I think you need to be better than me.”

“I don’t know  _ how _ .”

“It’s okay to be scared, sometimes. But you can’t let that keep you from doing what you need to.”

“And what do I  _ need to do _ , exactly?”

“Tell the truth. Understand that we care about you. Both of us.”

“ _ All _ of us, actually,” Derek steps forward next, smiling kindly, “I know I care a little differently than those two…”

“What, no surprise love confession from you, too?”

Derek laughs, “Wouldn’t that be dramatic? No, that’s not what I’m here for.”

“No offense, D, but why  _ are _ you here? These two at least kind of make sense. Making me understand that I can  _ love _ , and all that bullshit.”

“Because it’s not just romantic love, Jules. You’ve never really believed anyone cares about you. For someone so goddamn egotistical, you think so little of yourself.”

“Shouldn’t you  _ like  _ that? You hate how vain I get.”

“You know you’re talented, sure. Pretty. But I don’t think you’ve ever understood how much people care about you.”

Julian hesitates, “...did I really need all this? I feel like that was the main point, here. Would’ve made things a lot easier if you’d just said that from the beginning. If you just told me you cared about me.”

“You’re the one with a dramatic enough subconscious to conjure all this bullshit up.”

“Touché.”

“We do care, you know,” Logan says, taking Julian’s hand, “I know I do.”

“Me too,” Sebastian says, smiling.

“And me, obviously,” Derek adds.

“But what if you  _ don’t _ ?” Julian asks, “When I wake up, what if you  _ don’t _ ? What if you’re all mad at me for all of this? Logan’s going to  _ hate _ me for being the reason Kurt got hurt.”

“I won’t. I promise I won’t.”

“And Derek...you’ll be mad I didn’t try to get help.”

“Neither did I.”

“And  _ Sebastian _ ,” Julian turns, “You didn’t even...you didn’t even care enough to show up to the airport.”

“You really think all those texts mean I don’t care? I sent you a gift on  _ Valentine’s _ , Julian. Of course I care.”

“I know, I just…”

“Have to stop assuming people don’t care as much as you do,” Logan says, “Honestly, Julian, how much have you lied to me since this all started?”

“I didn’t  _ lie _ …”

“But you didn’t tell the truth. How am I supposed to know when you’re upset if you don’t tell me the truth?”

“I…”

“Can’t keep pretending you can handle everything yourself,” Derek interrupts, “Everyone needs help sometimes. It’s not a bad thing to ask for it.”

“So what, then? I just go back and try to remember that people  _ care _ ?”

“You go back,” Derek says, “And you stop running away.”

“From all of us,” Logan adds, “Stop running, Julian.”

“I don’t know how.”

“We’ll help. We’ll be there.”

“You can’t promise that.”

“They can’t,” another, new voice says, “But I can.”

A shadow appears in the doorway, and Julian frowns when a familiar figure steps into the room.

“...Mr. Harvey?”

“The Wizard, in this little world of yours,” the teacher corrects, looking amused, “And I can tell you they mean what they’re saying.”

“How do you know?”

“Logan’s barely left your side,” Harvey says, “He brought in his keyboard. Played for you. He hoped the music would help.”

“He just feels guilty.”

“He does,” Harvey agrees, “Overwhelmingly so. But he’s also worried. He can’t imagine a life without you. None of them can.”

“They’d be okay,” Julian says, a little unsure this time.

“Sebastian had a nervous breakdown. Derek’s barely holding himself together. Logan  _ isn’t _ holding himself together. They need you, Julian. More than you could possibly know.”

“I don’t know what to do,” Julian admits, “I don’t know how to get out of here.”

“Don’t you remember the movie, Julian?”

“Dorothy found the Wizard. He got her home.”

“No,” Harvey says, looking amused, “She got  _ herself _ home. All she had to do was want it badly enough.”

“So you’re saying I could’ve gone home all this time?”

“I’m saying this all relies on you. I know it’s a lot of pressure. I know it’s a hard decision. But it’s  _ your _ decision to make.”

“So I decide if I live or die?”

“You decide if you learn anything from this. If you learn to trust your friends. To think more of yourself. If you learn to be honest.”

“Will I remember this?”

Harvey shrugs, “Probably not. Not the details, at least. But you might remember the lessons.”

“Will he remember us?” Logan looks worried, concerned, “I don’t want him to forget me.”

“He’s never forgotten you,” Harvey says, smiling softly, “I wish I could make you believe that, too.”

“So what do I do?” Julian asks, “ I just...wish to go home?”

“You close your eyes. You imagine it. You just need to wake up, Julian. It’s easy.”

“It can’t be that easy.”

“You do it all the time,” Derek offers, “This is all just a dream, remember? All you have to do is wake up from it.”

“And text me back, would you?” Sebastian adds, “If I really had a panic attack, I’d appreciate a text back.”

“Don’t run away again,” Logan says, “Please. No matter how scared you are, don’t run away again.”

Harvey lays a hand on Julian’s shoulder, his voice soothing, “Just wake up, Julian.”

Julian’s eyes feel so heavy suddenly, and he blinks sleepily at the boys gathered around him.

“Don’t forget, Julian.”

“Remember us.”

“And for the record,” Sebastian says, smirking, “If  _ he _ doesn’t get his act together, I’ll be waiting.”

Logan scowls. He takes Julian’s hand, squeezes ever so slightly.

“Give me a chance,” he whispers, breath hot against Julian’s ear, “Be honest with me. And give me a chance.”

“I’ll remember,” Julian says, even as his words slur together, “I promise I’ll remember.”

“Wake up, Julian.”

“It’s just a dream.”

“Wake up.”

“ _ Open your eyes _ .”

Julian blinks. He hears a sound, sharp in the silence. A steady beep, hiccuping once before it resumes steadily, a little more rapidly. He stirs, twitches against stark sheets.

And then, slowly, Julian Larson opens his eyes.


End file.
